Am I a Fortune Teller?
No, you can't eat as much chocolate as you want without gaining weight. I know, I know, but I can't work miracles (yet). Sorry! This post is rather about another set of words you want to hear, ones that make your world round and beautiful and complete. But what if you don't hear them? And not because you weren't paying attention, no. You don't hear them, because they never actually came out into the open.
You are dating someone. It's going good. It's going great, actually. He (or she) rocks your world, everything is just picture perfect between the sheets. And yet, there is something missing. A tiny detail, one that could easily be ignored. Or could it? Although some people aren't as sensitive to the spoken word (or unspoken word in this case) as others, but still, what happens if you never hear those words that you've been trying to read off his (or her) lips for the past four months (or God forbid, four years)? How long should you wait? Or is this just a formality, an overstated miniscule thing, the lack of which can be easily ignored?
It might as well be that the other person doesn't feel the need to say it. Maybe they think that they are showing you alright (oh, hell yes, every morning, noon and night), they assume that you already know. Well, okay. But know what, exactly? That they like you? That they want to spend time with you? That they enjoy your company? And by company, I mean sex. Sure, they might go out of their way to prove what they aren't able to say. But isn't actually saying it out loud a crucial part of that process?
Kiss and Tell?
There is a saying in my country that actions speak louder than words. Which is true, in most cases. But there is also another one, which goes like this: words give meaning and an explanation to your actions. To me, this also means that in a relationship, if the actions are there, without the right words, those actions can be easily misinterpreted. Let me give you two examples.
Mr Right and Miss Perfect have been dating for five years. Mr Right is what his name suggest. He does everything the right way, and that includes fulfilling Miss Perfect's needs (financial, sexual and intellectual). However, he never says the oh-so-longed for word. This doesn't bother Miss Perfect though, as she is convinced that Mr Right proves his love towards her every single day. Except, his actions might be perfect, but he doesn't mean any of it. To him, Miss Perfect is only perfect till Miss Spotless comes into the picture. Why say something that isn't there?
Our next couple is Mr Shy and Miss Self-Conscious. They have been together for five years, just like the Perfect couple. Although, Mr Shy is just unable to say the big words to his beloved partner. He is too shy, and he wants to show rather than tell. What is he waiting for? She wonders. She loves him with all her heart, but if he doesn't make a move soon, she will have to look somewhere else. She needs a man who can 'man up' after all, one that wants to settle down with her. She knows that Mr Shy loves her, but as he never tells her about his plans, she can't be sure whether he wants a future with her or not.
Of course, these are extreme & fictional examples, and as such, they don't exist in real life. But I do believe that they aren't that far from the truth. Okay, so I think we have established that telling the other person you love them is nearly as important as showing them. On the other hand, words are useless without action. I really believe that the two come hand in hand.
(no, not those ones)
So, what should one say? Isn't 'I love you' too cliché, too unoriginal? Believe it or not, this is maybe the hardest part. Even in stories. Especially in stories. Sometimes it comes naturally, because the characters create a natural sexual tension between them, and once that's resolved, and the frustration is over, they begin to pour their hearts out. As easy as pie.
But then there are other times, when the way my hero wants to declare his undying love just doesn't cut it. And then there are yet other times, when the actual words aren't spelled out, but there is a very strong promise to wrap it all up. Besides, even in real life, the true fun only begins after those words are uttered. Either way, I tend to find that my readers need that kind of closure, the completion of the emotional bond as well as the physical.
And here comes my last question, one that's aimed at You, my lovely Readers. What are those special words that you have been dying to hear from your other half? Maybe you dreamed the words up yourself, or you heard them in your favorite movie, or read them somewhere. Or, if you were lucky enough, what did he (or she) say to sweep you off of your feet? I know, I found a line in a book I read, one that stayed with me ever since. It went something like this:
'Let's not use big words, because they might scare both of us. What if we just promised to love each other until life do us part?' (a rough translation from Vavyan Fable)
The other one was 'You had me at Hello' from Jerry Maguire. To me, that said it all.