Writing Erotica the Hard Way

Cumming up with an Idea...

Okay, so you have the perfect plot ready, with hunky guys and damsels in distress (or anything else that you fancy, really). You have it all figured out in your mind, from the first line to the steamier parts. But is it that simple? You just come up with hot characters and a compelling story and write it down? One would think that when it comes to erotica, coming up with the idea is the hardest (no pun intended). Well, think again! Whether it is your own fantasy, or something that raised your interest, there are always a few setbacks to the process.

And I'm not talking about writers' block this time. There are other hazards when one is writing (or reading) erotica. Like the fact that you can't really finish a story without 'finishing' yourself. The story won't come to life until we 'come' ourselves. Okay, okay, I'm sure you all get the point by now. Us, writers tend to distance ourselves from our characters and stories, but for a little while, we can`t avoid being part of it all.

Otherwise how could we make the tension between the characters convincing and arousing? We need to be there, we need to experience it bit by bit, word by word. It's as if a porn movie was playing in our minds, just this time we are the actors, as well as the scriptwriters.

The First Hazard of Writing Erotica

So here comes the first hazard: you need to stop every now and then, admiring your work, releasing your own tension, or simply dreaming up the next saucy bit. Of course, some of us will agree that this is the whole point, that we write these stories down, because we want to get aroused ourselves.

But an erection/ dripping pussy surely isn't always an advantage, especially if the inspiration hits us in the park, on the train, or in any other public place. Or, God forbid, when we are having a decent lunch with our spouse's parents. And we all know that when we have the right plot in mind, it will keep disturbing us until we give in. Regardless of where we are. And those times we can't really act on the passion that our story invokes. Well, not if we don't want to experience our fantasies for real or go to jail (or both).

But hey, if this happens, it shows that the story is really working, so you should be proud of yourself! If you got aroused, then most probably your readers will, too. Let's just hope that they choose to read it in the privacy of their homes…

And not just this, but also if you are working to a strict deadline, then having to stop, because you are turned on isn't “nice” either. Oh, well, I don`t think we mind though…

The Magic is Lost

Another hazard is the total opposite. Some erotica writers might argue that because they write about the topic so intensively, the real thing loses its importance, its magic. They neglect their lovers (and themselves), their libido being four feet under the ground and intending to stay there.

Think about it this way: for some people this is like eating their favorite food. It is good in a small dose, but too much good can be bad, too. And if someone writes about sex day in, day out, then there is a risk of becoming burnt out. Can you imagine eating your favorite chocolate every day, just to wake up the next morning realizing that all you have is chocolate again? True, there is white, black, milk, nutty, filled and plain, but they are still chocolates, none-the-less. You start to feel that you need a break, that you don`t want any more chocolate, although at first you thought that there wasn't an amount you wouldn't have been able to devour.

Great Expectations

Or things could get even worse: we could put our expectations so high, that they become nearly impossible to match, so our sexual life doesn't live up to the standards we set in our stories. Okay, we can all admit that our stories usually involve perfect (or nearly perfect) characters, ones that anybody can be drawn to. Therefore, this alone is hard to match in reality, and these fantasies could lead to more serious problems. Break-ups, divorces, cheating, frustration, etc.

Let's go further. Another version is when you don't even need sex, because you get enough steam from your stories. And that's fine, right until the point when you become obsessed. You start to write more, just for the sake of escaping reality. And you start to neglect your other duties, too, like taking a bath or brushing your teeth, or doing exercise, or cleaning your room. You slowly, but surely become glued to your chair, never leaving the comfort of your imagination.


These might be quite radical examples, but I'm sure you get the point. Whenever we write erotica, there needs to be a balance. A balance between fantasy and reality, a balance between work and pleasure (quite literally). Neither of them come first, but walk side by side instead.

I would love to hear your version of these extremes. Have you ever took writing (or reading) erotica to one of these levels? These situations make us laugh sometimes, especially when we get the urge to act

upon our stories in public, but they can be quite uncomfortable, too…

#read #write #writing #erotica #reading #story #blog #author

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